April 19th, 2006

(Leave a comment)

April 18th, 2006

(Leave a comment)

06:56 am - Ties That Bind, Ties That Break (book) Ties That Bind, Ties That Break by Lensey Namioka. This was a good book. Worth reading. And a quick read, too. 154 pages, I read it in one day. It's the story of a girl in China in the early 1900s. She, as a young girl, decides she doesn't want her feet bound. Her father, who knows far better the seriousness of this and the consequences that will follow, okays her remaining with unbound feet. It's a book about change and gender roles. One thing I found interesting was the idea that, in traditional roles, it's not that women lacked power — they had power within the family — but they lacked choice. Read more at Amazon.com. Current Mood: peaceful Tags: book

(Leave a comment)

April 16th, 2006

12:04 pm Happy Easter everyone. :) I sing in church choir. We sing 4 days in a row at Easter time, Thursday through Sunday. I do enjoy it, but by the end of mass today my voice was definitely feeling worn out. This after noon, Easter dinner with my husband's family. That will be nice. I feel like I should add a proper Easter wish. Something about the Risen Lord. But, I guess, for me, wishing blessings or such doesn't fit with Easter. And, plus, I think I spiritually connect more with Holy Thursday and Good Friday than Easter. And Christmas for me speaks more to my sense of God is here with us than Easter does. I guess I don't much buy into the sin and redemption thinking. For me it's more broken and healed. And I guess Easter doesn't much speak to that idea of being healed. I'd to share a poem I wrote. I haven't really given it a title, but I think of it as my Holy Thursday poem. Written last year on Holy Thursday, it seems to me to fit the theme of the day, though I didn't have that in mind when I wrote it. Perhaps the poem also works for Easter too. I love you. I love all that you are. My inner child loves you. The broken places in me relate when you share the brokenness in you. And yet, I see, you are strong and beautiful. As, I have come to realize, so am I. Current Mood: content Tags: thoughts

(Leave a comment)

April 1st, 2006

06:49 pm - What European City Do You Belong In? You Belong in Dublin Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions. You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town. What European City Do You Belong In? Interesting. That fits well with my appreations for Ireland and Irish stuff. And I did enjoy my trip to Ireland, including the brief time in Dublin. Current Mood: confused Tags: quiz

(Leave a comment)

06:43 pm - Astronomy Picture of The Day I enjoyed today's Astronomy Picture of the Day. :) Current Mood: tired

(Leave a comment)

March 10th, 2006

09:09 pm - What Color Green Are You? You Are Emerald Green Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you. What Color Green Are You? I post results of quizzes such as this one when I think they actually do reflect something about me. This seems to fit me. And my husband agrees. I actually don't particularly want to be someone people react strongly to. But often they do, it seems. Current Mood: peaceful Tags: quiz

(Leave a comment)

March 6th, 2006

09:14 am - Music: Depth and/or fun I had a thought. Music should either have depth, or be fun. It doesn't have to be both. And often shouldn't be both. Just one or the other. Though I think the best musical performers have some of both. I don't mean both at the same time. Just some songs with depth, and some that are fun. Not that a song can't be both, but it needn't always be. Fun can obviously be applied either to lyrics or the music. I think depth can too. Instrumental music can have depth. Music with depth reaches inside and touches the emotions. The Elders, one of my very favorite bands, I think in overall feel lean more towards fun. But there is definite depth. And the song that is probably their best song, "Men of Erin", isn't at all fun. It's a depth song. (Go here for a link to the lyrics and a sound sample.) Depth in songs with lyrics can be lyrics directly expressing ideas. But sometimes it's more diffuse. A couple songs come to mind. First the Elders "Ballymun Road", written by Brent Hoad. It's like, on the one hand, the story told in the song doesn't quite make sense to me. On a conscious level, I don't get it. Yet, I love the song. The lyrics and music reach down and connect with something in me. I guess it's that connection that is the heart of what I call "depth". Another song that connect similarly is the Rainmakers "Hunger Moon". Words written by Pat Tomek, lyrics by Steve Phillips. The words are poetic imagery. (lyrics here, about 2/3 of the way down.) No direct message. Nothing for me to set my conscious mind thinking on. And, yet, it touches something within me. It connects. Bob Walkenhorst, who is perhaps my very favorite singer songwriter, is quite good at both, I think. Often combined. My first encounter with Bob's songwriting, back in the Rainmakers days, was "Let My People Go-Go" (read lyrics or listen). What caught my attention in the song was Jesus saying (quoting the song "Charlie Brown"), "Why's everybody always picking on me?". There's something distinctly fun in that, and in the song as a whole. And, yet, it's more than just a fun song. It's got real meaning. Stuff to think about. One of the lines of the chorus is "I put you here to love one another". Definite depth. I'd be interested in hearing other folks thoughts on this. You can leave a comment here (don't forget to leave your name or nickname), or email me. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Young Dubiners, Alive alive'O Tags: music, thoughts

(Leave a comment)

March 4th, 2006

11:13 pm - Steve Bob and Rich -- Balls Wow. I got the new CD release of Steve Bob and Rich Balls, remixed and remastered. Awesome. It sounds so much better, improved sound quality. Now, it's not like I was ever disappointed with the sound quality. Still, wow... the difference is very noticable, and I'm so liking the new version. For those readers unfamiliar with the album, it's from 1984 and has never previously been released on CD. Fans have made copies on CDR from LPs, and that's how I'd been listening to it. Either that or in the car on a cassette made from the CDR. I think Balls has been out of print for like 20 years. So, it's finally available (new to buy) again, and finally available on CD. And remixed and remastered and sounding wonderful. I'm loving it. And, bonus tracks, 7 live tracks. Which I'm also really enjoying. One of the live tracks is a song that's also on the album, but the rest are different than what's on the album. And the live tracks sound great too. Again, for the unfamiliar, Steve Bob and Rich in 1986 added Pat Tomek and changed their name to the Rainmakers. The Rainmakers broke up for good in 1999. I've seen Steve and Bob both oodles of times live, though, Steve with the Elders, and Bob playing under his own name (Bob Walkenhorst), with bandmates Jeff Porter and Norm Dahlor. Bob, Jeff, and Norm play every Wednesday at the Record Bar. Well, almost every Wednesday, anyway. And I go just about every week. I'm a Bob show regular. I am really, really, happy with the new rerelease of Balls. For any interested, it's available at Village Records. The artist is listed as the Rainmakers, with Steve, Bob & Rich--Balls as the title. Here's a direct link. Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Steve Bob & Rich -- Balls Tags: music

(Leave a comment)

09:21 am - What Kind of Rocker Are You? You Are a Freedom Rocker! You're stuck in the 70s - for better or worse Crazy hair, pot soaked clothes, and tons of groupies Your kind showed the world how to rock Is that freedom rock?... Well turn it up man! What Kind of Rocker Are You? Current Mood: peaceful Tags: quiz

(Leave a comment)

February 25th, 2006

02:29 pm - What American City Are You? (quiz) You Are Austin A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick What American City Are You? I've never been to Austin. Hm, maybe I should take a trip there sometime. Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Eileen Ivers and Immigrant Soul Tags: quiz

(Leave a comment)

February 22nd, 2006

06:02 pm - Vonnegut and music I recently read Kurt Vonnegut's book A Man Without A Country. It's not a novel. The dust jacket categorizes it as "current events / literature / humor". Comments on various aspects of life. Quite enjoyable. I actually discovered Vonnegut when some males on a email discussion list I was on exchanged some rather quite male humor somehow related to Vonnegut's book Breakfast of Champions. I was curious enough to find the book and read it. I liked it. I later read Slaughterhouse Five. I enjoyed both books though I can't really explain why. Very different from usual novels. I guess I like how Vonnegut thinks. I like how he looks at the world. A comment of his on music in A Man Without A Country I like and want to share. "No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious and charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful." Ah, I like that. And I think there is a lot of truth there. Vonnegut mentions the music of the Vietnam era. He talks about the music of the slaves before the civil war, and how that contributed to modern music. Life I think would be a lot duller without music. Amazon.com link for A Man Without A Country. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Kansas Greatest Hits Live (1989 live show) Tags: books, music, thoughts

(Leave a comment)

February 20th, 2006

11:11 pm - Ice Dancing I like Ice Dancing. :) Tonight was the finals of the Ice Dancing competition in the Winter Olympics. Yes, I said competition, not sport. I really don't see it as a sport. But I like it. :) And Ice Dancing is my favorite of the Olympic events, I think. I guess I don't have anything real profound to say about it. I did enjoy all 3 days of Ice Dancing. I guess I like Ice Dancing best of the figure skating events because it's the most musical. The ice dancers really have to perform to and respond to the music, moreso than in the other figure skating events. The U.S. won a silver medal in Ice Dancing. Yay! :) And I did quite enjoy the American pair who won, Belbin and Agosto. This was only the 2nd Olympic medal ever for the U.S. in Ice Dancing. The previous one was a bronze medal 30 years ago. Current Mood: content

(Leave a comment)

February 12th, 2006

08:55 pm - bugger My word of the day: Bugger. Wikipedia says it's inoffensive here in the U.S., so I can say it. :) When writing, if I find myself using a word that I'm not real familiar with, I tend to look it up in the dictionary. Check out if I'm using it right before barging ahead. Today, I found myself using the word "bugger" basically, to describe people who are annoying by putting me down and/or making fun of my posts. Ah, I discovered the word "bugger" is much more colorful than I thought. Still, it fit my use as well. Instead of me describing the meanings here, I'll let you all visit the Wikipedia entry for the word bugger. Current Mood: grateful

(Leave a comment)

January 17th, 2006

09:46 pm - Friendship dynamics and Internet message boards Some thoughts on friendship and Internet forums. Message boards in particular. On one message board yesterday, I got chastised for not joking and not being friendly. It's not like I was mean or anything. Just rather straight forward. It's like, basically, I wasn't interested in their form of friendliness. I wasn't unkind. But I didn't play things their way. They seem to want my friendship, but they want me to be friends with them on their terms. Their way. And they don't seem to get that I'm just not interested. And somehow, it seems they think they can pressure me into being friendly their way. I wonder why they think that will work. Pressuring me, being pushy and unfriendly will make me want to be friends with them? Hardly. I've seen them do that to someone else too. Bug her repeatedly because she doesn't post their way. She tends to use a lot of abbreviations. They don't like it. But instead of just thinking "oh well" and not reading her posts, they bug her about it and try to pressure her. She ignores it. She says she's fine if they don't read her posts. And I believe she's being truthful. It's like, they want, well, something like a friendship. But they aren't willing to make the effort to meet her on her own terms. They try to pressure her to do things their way, be one of them. And sometimes I get the same kind of thing. I was yesterday and today. I wonder about the dynamics of it. One thing I see in it that is good is a desire to be a community. I think that's a good thing. But, at the same time, I wonder if what's happening is they are threatened by someone who is different, who doesn't do things their way. Like their way is right. They want friendship, they want community. Yet they aren't willing to meet someone on their own terms, or meet someone half way. They aren't willing to understand why someone thinks different, or does things different. Nor are they willing to just admit we're different kinds of people and not be friends. There is one person there I can think of who is willing to accept that, though. She accepts me, accepts that we don't really connect as friends. We rarely post to each other. But she doesn't try to pressure me to be different than I am. When I have talked directly with her, it's always been pleasant, even friendly. Though that hasn't been often. Is there a conclusion here? I don't know. I suspect this isn't unique to this board. I think it's really too bad. But, I'm not letting it get to me. It's rather interesting to observe. It does make me feel less at home there. And, really, most of the people who really made it a community for me before are now gone. I guess it's interesting to observe the dynamics of friendship. I can look at in-person relationships, and I see there are people I connect with more than others. And that's okay. I don't have to be best friends with everybody. Current Mood: curious Tags: thoughts

(Leave a comment)

January 2nd, 2006

(Leave a comment)

December 21st, 2005

12:42 pm - Misunderstandings One thing I find frustrating is when people read something into a message board post that just wasn't there. Something that isn't in the words and was never in my thoughts. And yet they are sure I said it. Okay, I guess in a way I get it. I mean, yeah, I sometimes read things into what others write too. I bring my own experiences to a post and sometimes see more than what is there. And sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes that seeing more than what is there is an insight that helps me understand. And, okay, maybe sometimes I'm wrong. I think, though, usually I am aware that I am perceiving more than is there. And I'll reply with that distinction in mind. If someone thinks I meant something other than I did, but is willing to listen to me and dialogue, that's cool. Perhaps I can even learn something from them in understanding why they saw it they way they did. We both gain from the discussion. Others seem to insist that they know what I meant. They aren't open to dialogue. And sometimes they are quite willing to flatly tell me I'm wrong about what I meant by my words. Though sometimes they are willing to agree to disagree with me about what I intended to say. Which is a really odd situation for agreeing to disagree, I think. What leaves me most puzzled after those encounters, I think, is wondering why they saw in my words what they did. Like, why does someone see anger or criticism in a straight forward comment or question, written with no feelings of anger or critical thoughts? Where does that perception come from? And is there something I can do different, as a writer, to foresee possibly misunderstandings and communicate better? Alas, I don't seem to learn much at the time by talking with them, because they seem to, usually, be upset by the perceived insult and not open to talking things out. And then when times passes, the details aren't remembered so any discussion isn't very fruitful. I guess the best thing I can do is realize people make mistakes, and I do too, and to be understanding of that, and not walk away from a friendship or potential friendship due to individual misunderstandings. I also think it's helpful for me to remember that the closemindedness may be coming out of hurt. And even when I didn't do what they thought I did, the hurt they feel is real and needs healing. And I can respect that and allow time for healing. Current Mood: content Current Music: REO's "Building the Bridge" is in my head Tags: thoughts

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

December 13th, 2005

07:12 am - Attraction and Friendship Attraction and Friendship. I remember a while back on a message board the subject coming up, can you be friends (as in, "just friends", no romance or sex) with someone you find attractive. I didn't have an answer then. Neither did the other person. And I don't think anyone else chimed in. Now I've got more experience with having friendships with guys. And one thing I've learned is it isn't so black and white. Both friendship and attraction come in flavors and degrees. Attraction doesn't mean friendship's not possible. But a strong attraction does place distinct limits on the friendship. Or, more technically, it means certain limits are a good idea. Such friendships may perhaps be best kept within the social setting, with only limited, if any, one on one contact (meaning email, phone, or getting together just the two persons). But they can still, in that setting, have a strong, and beneficial, friendship. A weaker attraction may have different limits. Also, the needed limits may change. Moments of stronger attraction may mean keeping one's distance from a friend. And then there's the related question. Can you be friends with someone of the opposite sex (thinking heterosexuals here) and have it remain friendship without the attraction thing creeping in and messing things up? Before I had an answer on a personal level, before I had experience, I had the thought that bisexuals manage to have ordinary friendships. So it should be possible. And it is. Some friends are buddies one hangs out with sometimes, and there, it doesn't seem there's really an issue. A friendship with more intimacy is a different matter. There, there is a definite possibility of a attraction developing. Maybe even a probability of at least some degree of attraction developing. But, not always a strong attraction. Yes, it is possible to have a guy friend (if one is female) who one can really share oneself with and where attraction mostly isn't an issue at all, and when it does creep in, it's mild. Life is an adventure, and friendships are part of the adventure. Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: cars in the distance, and the birds outside

(Leave a comment)

December 5th, 2005

09:46 pm - Thoughts on Men Okay, so much for regular weekly posts. But here I am again posting on a Monday, finally. :) Saturday, I went shopping for Christmas presents. Went to the mall. They had a calendar shop set up in the middle aisle, and I stopped to look briefly. By chance, the first calendar I came to was one with shirtless men with nice bodies. Though I was reading the sayings on each month (shown on the back of the calendar) more than looking at the men. And the sayings were put downs to men, about what they are good for. The general idea being not much. One of them, I don't recall exactly what it said, unfortunately, but the idea of it was that men are good shirtless so that one can enjoy looking at them. I thought of someone I know. And I thought of him simply because I've had the pleasure of seeing him shirtless a couple times, and, well, it made quite an impression. When I think of men shirtless, I think of him. And he sets a high standard, as such things go. Curiously, it doesn't work the other way. When I see him, or think of him, or interact him, I never think of such things. He's a precious friend, but there's very minimal attraction, and he just doesn't inspire such thoughts. And I thought about that friendship. And what he means to me. And I thought, that's not what men are good for. My friend, I'll take him clothed. He may be good eye candy shirtless, but I much prefer his friendship. I like men as people, with all the qualities that make us human. Physical traits being only one small part of that. Current Mood: reflective

(Leave a comment)

09:40 pm - What Temperment Are You? You Have a Melancholic Temperament Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult. What Temperment Are You? Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: The Elders "Highlands" is in my head. Tags: quiz

(Leave a comment)

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
> Ellen's Webpage
> previous 20 entries